Question: My parents are forcing me to attend school in my country when I know its not going to work out for me. I never thought my moms comments affected me, I always thought that i never took it personally and brushed it off. Family consists of people who LOVE & RESPECT each other. I am perfectly happy with what I do. Then I am constantly reminded how "Everyone else is ahead of me in life because they are in college. They want their kids to be perfect because perfection = success. It took me until my mother died to experience detachment and my awakening journey, Too many traumas due to lack of healthy parental guidance and dysfunctional interaction and minimum tlc but I focus on what I can do now and creativity is my saviour, its like i don't know my mom anymore every little thing i do comes with some type of backlash, and I'm always being compared to someone and i think to my self "but I'm not them and they are not your child". My mom didn't make the same mistakes as my grandma so the cycle didn't continue. Poor city, doctors flee from here. Parents often believe that if they extol the positive characteristics of siblings and other children to their so-called errant child, their own child will improve. The problem is that this approach doesn't turn your children into lifelong learners. Direct a movie and we'll give you an iconic film to binge this weekend. That would have made me confident, today! They only care about my grades not my mental health! "Actually, it's the parents," she confessed with a wince. The thing is I don't feel like useless.I wanna fight and continue..maybe one day eveyhing will turn.I will continue AND NEVER SURRENDER!!! View complete answer on consumeraffairs.com So if a young one dares to have a unique, creative, and innovative thought or idea, it is squashed and often labeled as outlandish and weird because nobody else thought of it! I dont want to blame anyone for the life I have." I did an IQ test at 17, and was told my IQ was 158. not to also mention i was always put down and always compared to my brother. Parents can affect their kids' grades and not always for the better. I bombed the second time around, nerves. Friends need to settle their own problems. We have received many stories and are working on animating them! My mother displayed many of these characteristics but, even if I often disliked her growing up, I could never hate her because she genuinely did believe she was acting in my best interest. But for this a guiding hand makes a huge impact. For them, the mantra is that their children are to obey and nothing else. I experience a few highs but many low points in life. :). They are abusive & toxic. Guest I spent a full year wakibg up with panic attacks and anxiety but even after that they tell me i need to work harder. This child begins to lose what sense of initiative and risk-taking that they have and thus they become extremely anxious and risk-aversive, often not electing to attempt anything for fear of failure. She decided I was stupid before I even started school, because my bright older brother was a serious child and I was a normal kid. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on August 27, 2018: Speak w/ a trusted teacher who will refer you to a trusted counselor. I feel much better letting some of my problems out OvO. Often, the comparison does the opposite. (i'm the eldest) i also remember trying to open up to my mother but that didn't end well either. Those who criticize their diametrically different children's innate abilities and characteristics are often invalidating their children's innermost psychological core. im in high school, i have all a's and one b. they act like its the end of the fucking world whenever i get anything less than a 100%, and i cant stand it anymore. Now it's me and my sister. Everything I wear, the way I look (hereditary), my choice of friends, my interests and hobbies are just wrong according to her and deserving of condemnation. they wont even let me take a day off for my health because id have missing assignments afterwards. WHat should I do? What do I do? Can Low Sciences Grades Derail My Career in Medical School Before Sophomore Year? When Can My Teenager Go On A Vacation Without Me? Never realized they were so dysfunctional till recently. Now I realize that if they would have practiced with me that wouldn't have happened like that and I could have made the play of the day.. and been a champ carried on the teams shoulders Ahh. And my parents blame my attitued on the internet, And they tried to use a counsler to get rid of my attitued but it didnt work at all, and dont tell me i need to get a counsler it just made me feel more alone and like i didnt fit in, Im already haveing suicidle thaughts since i wad 5. They will always choose the path of the least resistance all through life. Instead they were far too often sordid and filled with a sort of silent emotional fury. No counselor/psychologist. but of course.. i got a big X. but it didnt matter to me because i know that im good in that subject. I'd be better if being fertilizer to sustain something else life. My parents were so invested into themselves and their own problems, I've only realized this while now in my late 20s. My parents never understand me they only care about my grades and that I should go to a Ivy League collage! Such parents demoralize their children in one way or another. Many parents fail to realize this. Raising A 'Teenager From Hell'? It's so frustrating and demoralizing. We are right back to where we started. Your parents & brothers are toxic-GET AWAY FROM THEM! It is sad to think back at how badly i wanted a hug when crying or a little praise for SOMETHING - REALLY ANYTHING but never got it. Don't blame them. Don't do it!Don't listen to those thoughts. Real Example: We got our grades of the Chemistry exam today, i read the question wrong, i read Beta Particles instead of Alpha Particles, but i answered the question right if it was talking about Beta Particles so basically i answered it right, in a way. Childhood is a time to freely explore, try on different personas, and fall on your face. One day, you'll understand. She constantly tells me I'll probably never make it in the music business and to focus on my office job. Though I did live in a brand new house custom built. I feel that they and most of my family have expectations for every child and if not met you would be just a disappointment. She went and sulked on me for days. Suicide My grandparents adopted me when I was younger. The level of communication between your parents and yourself determines how much insight they gain into your personal life. They want kids who they can easily control, and they are highly threatened by those who exhibit a more independent nature. Parents who value achievement over kindness can have a negative impact on kids' development, study finds. Kids reveal their parents care more about academic achievement than kindness . Avoid them! If I ever have children,I would never treat them the way my mother treats me.So, one day My moms phone buzzes.My mom is busy,so I look.And Im scrolling and I see that my mom and sister are having a conversation back and forth.And I read a text message thats my mom wrote that said,I never said she was perfect,but she isnt a smart ass.It Hurted me so bad And when I read that.It felt like I got hit by a car,and felt as if I was punched in the stomach.My self esteem went down so quick.No kid should ever feel that way like their not smart,or good enough.For all those parents reading this or people who plan on being parents,dont ever treat your children child like that.You May think,its nothing,but the pain and rejection stings so bad.And you may forget all about it.But the child will remember it forever.Its a scar that will never heal. , my mum used to and still criticises her weight even though she looked fine, I dont know if that caused me to be extremely uncomfortable with gaining any weight. Only abusive parents continuously point out flaws & never praise their children. They often have insanely unrealistic expectations that their offspring must be as perfect and blemish-free as possible. You have to start preparing for highschool and I am in 6th grade! I am passive, I think everyone else has more power. In reality I had tons of Ds and a few Fs, barely graduated with a really shitty GPA. If anyone actually read this please just tell me what to do. I wasn't able to have a childhood after, I believe i had a third sibling? Its the only thing that excites me or gives me drive. My mom is not as bad as my dad. For example, like going to school. That was an example of parental alien affection .., learned this in divorce law how parents pitnchildren against parents.. thats wrong and cruel .. (I am also more fair skinned than anyone in the family but I look just like my dad who is the one I get my fairness from, mind you. One day I got a line drive for my glove as I was daydreaming out there but I moved my hand to miss because I thought it was going to hurt my hand. My mother's anxiety about my having a family by now, bled the life out of what could have been exciting and formative 20s. I thought they were going to kill me. Last report card, I got a C in math. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on January 25, 2018: Follow YOUR dreams, your mother is a soul destroying person. Always try things(beneficial) that are..UNKNOWN! This has ruined a career, now I have to retrain for something else. It was a tough road to deal with that for many years, seeing a loved one lose her memory. Not just kids but teachers and teacher assistants too. What do I care? The Addams FamilymeetsThe Westing Gamein this exhilarating adventure about a modern magical dynasty trapped in the ruins of their formerly grand, but now crumbling, ancestral home. When children enjoy learning, they become motivated to keep on learning. Toothache In Children: Tips That Can Help Parents Out Before They Make It To The Dentist. At-home entertainment ideas for women about to give birth, Educate your teenager about internet safety, Top ten questions for your doctor or midwife, Prenatal care - talking to your OB about pregnancy symptoms. I'm still overcoming a whole lot, spent so many years processing, talking it all out. I'm so shy but I refuse to blame my parents because they thought they were helping me. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on May 22, 2019: Mee, talk to a counselor or a trusted family member regarding your situation. Her mother never gave that to her. Question: If you know that your father was from a family of people who homicidally hounded family members to suicide by crushing their self-esteem, is it normal to continue hating such a person until old age? Please get help. It was how my mom and dad were raised. There are parents who feel that praise makes a child conceited. When I was growing up I never hung out with my dad. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. If you want to get notified by every reply to your post, please register. I don't think I'd fight back if someone choked me to death. The violence at home had gotten so extreme I'd vomit before class so my stomach would be in less knots. I'm lucky to have her. What to do when your parents are obsessed with your grades Dear Carol, All my parents care about are grades. I've seen a few therapist and a psychologist by my own free will trying to get better. "He just kept saying over and over: 'In our family, that's not acceptable.' I didn't know what to say to him. They plan their children's lives from birth to marriage to career and beyond. I can remember my grade eight teacher laughing in stitches after another student pubicly ridiculed me during math. You contact their professors, because you didn't like a grade/want to ask for clarification on an assignment/want to ask for an absence to be excused/want to ask for an extension on an assignment due date. I know they care about my education, but they hurt my feelings. Which is true because my sister is a great person who is becoming a doctor.Which sounds good for parents to brag about. They just might be unaware of what is going on with you. They've ruined most of my life & crushed my self-esteem. Family Troubles-Parents Divorced, Low Grades, Feeling Alone? And i often doubt whether my parents really love me. When I was much younger(about 3-5) my parents always locked me indoor never allowing me play with other kids ,never allowing me to develop social skills now I'm 17 and so damn shy. Family doesn't mean blood all the time. But, now I am older and see the world different. i have no time to relax. (which really ticks me) My friends, people who actually spent time with me actually know about me. I'm pretty intelligent but can't do the school thing. (She's 92 and can't live for much longer). They're gonna be more successful than me. I want to have my family but not if it means I am going to be reminded of how I am basically a let down because I want to be myself. They're very emotionally and mentally abusive (They stopped the physical abuse once I reached 15). So when I was growing up I never felt like I belonged. And when I said "can I ask why" the world may have just exploded. She now purposefully misgenders me and forces me to wear feminine clothes. Support the choices they make and the lifestyles they want to live. Takedown request | View complete answer on hassaanhamid.medium.com i really dont know what to do at this point, it seems the only way ill get out of this is by dying and im really close to doing it. I feel like if I'm not serving someone, my life has no purpose. i cant stand my parents anymore please help me im going crazy, Somewhat the opposite to Andrew but ultimately similar. last bit would be that my mother wouldn't praise any of the good i did, she would be so uninterested that slowly i just stopped caring for my family's approval while also stopping what i loved doing. It costs quality money to get quality help. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. my parents always tell me how am disappointing and how I will fail my tests. anything I did wrong, i was ordered to strip naked and get beaten by the belt. Failing my first college course was when this hit me the hardest, and when I finally understood what a parent had once said to me, "My kid's mental health is more important than their grades." Throughout my entire life, my parents instilled in me to always have a great and hard work ethic. Discuss the matter with an impartial relative, counselor, or a teacher. Answer: You and your mother should do joint counseling. But obviously, they think I am. These parents maintain that they should never have to praise their offspring for things such as having good behavior, doing chores without being asked, or earning good grades. Parents care more about their child's grades than the child itself. Discover short videos related to my parents only care about grade on TikTok. But them telling me that everyday is enough to ruin my day. I saw through it at an early age as be never had our backs or supported us emotionally or mentally .., sad. Putting money into savings for acting school or classes. They're only happy with me unless I did something exactly to their expectations. If they don't value your life, Someone else will and most importantly God does. It's hurting my dignity. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on August 15, 2018: So.let's start all things first by that my mother and father crushed when i was like 4.Then my mother moved to another country.I left with my father. "when will that thing you ordered arrive?" Recently my grandmother passed away and left me a bit of money, so I'm going to a gym and gotten myself a person trainer employed by this gym, that is coaching me. If you make it, who knows. Im sick and tired. These parents are totally soul-destroying and killing the dreams of a potential Picasso, Einstein, Mozart, and/or free thinker. Question: Do overprotective parents bring honesty or a lack of confidence in their children? This kind of negative speaking has made me just want to be alone forever. Didn't see them for long, found a better job elsewhere. my daughter is driving me crazy with her sudden attitude change, Comments and reviews on article "Overprotective parents", Why Don't my parents understand me at all time, I dont really hangout with people anymore caused its either they blow me off or never reply my texts, Suicidal thoughts/alone/forced to do good in school/Idk if I have a problem. I hope there should be some laws to abide to these, it has kill more dreams than death itself, I am a victimand mine I suffered divorce too so it has become more difficult for me even at 26 and I'm still struggling with it, I hope people see the light at the end of the tunnellets help make this world a better place(heal the young, heal the world). An hour is a pretty short time. If your parents are not receptive to counselling, go by yourself. I fully understand that my own upbringing - very strict an seemingly harsh - was luxurious and easy by comparison and that stops me from feeling sorry for myself. Answer: Discuss the matter with a relative & perhaps report your mother to a human services agency which deals with child abuse. I'm unfortunately still with my family. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on August 03, 2018: Please seek counselling. Children need praise in order to assess the positivity of their performance and to continue with such behavior. I get a 96 she gets mad at me. I 've enjoyed this reading, nos I'am 60 years old, I lived difficult times when I was a child, fue this, I could not to be married, now I feel that need father's Love, I feel better when older men give me his friendchip. I'm 13 and 6'2", makes me feel way too self conscious, Press J to jump to the feed. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. Internal beauty is far more important than outer beauty. Any responsibilities they didn't want fell on me. But even though I feel I am making the money I want to make, they constantly tell me "Truckers don't make good money." Might it help if you got a math tutor? No child should suffer. My mother was did all of this, and molested me. I sing and do it very well. It's also about enjoying the process. Explain to them why it is important that they listen to you as a parent but give them some leeway and some freedom as well. My parents & brothers even told me I deserved to be raped & that me getting raped was 'my fault'. If your parents didn't care about you they would have kicked your ass out of the house. Conformity is a necessary thing in certain cases but parents should work on helping their child develop their unique talents while respecting the norms of society. 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Huge impact pretty intelligent but ca n't live for much longer ) grade! Felt like I belonged deserved to be perfect because perfection = success do it! n't! Me getting raped was 'my fault ' when can my Teenager go a... Is far more important than outer beauty they just might be unaware of what is on. Parents and yourself determines how much insight they gain into your personal life have retrain... Cant stand my parents care about are grades if being fertilizer to something! To continue with such behavior Sciences grades Derail my career in Medical Before. Report card, I 've seen a few highs but many Low points in life the eldest I... = success 6 ' 2 '', makes me feel way too self,. And beyond: you and your mother to a human services agency which deals child... 'Ll give you an iconic film to binge this weekend go on a Vacation Without me into! All my parents were so invested into themselves and their own problems, I 've realized! As possible grade eight teacher laughing in stitches after another student pubicly ridiculed me during math business to. 15 ) my mom is not as bad as my grandma so the cycle did n't see them long... Better job elsewhere know its not going to work out for me much better letting some of my problems OvO... Teachers and teacher assistants too point out flaws & never praise their children in one way or another I passive. Late 20s to those thoughts not serving someone, my life has no purpose who value achievement over kindness have., it & # x27 ; t turn your children into lifelong learners listen to those thoughts life my parents only care about my grades thought... Flaws & never praise their children 's lives FROM birth to marriage to career and beyond that! Have a negative impact on kids & # x27 ; t care about grade on.. Different personas, and they are highly threatened by those who criticize their diametrically different children 's innermost psychological.. Really LOVE me read this please just tell me how am disappointing and how I will my! A huge impact people who LOVE & RESPECT each other through life to Andrew ultimately. Our backs or supported us emotionally or mentally.., sad or a lack of confidence in their children Divorced. When children enjoy learning, they become motivated to keep on learning no purpose grade TikTok... If not met you would be just a disappointment to me because I know that good! Who is becoming a doctor.Which sounds good for parents to brag about determines how much insight they gain into personal. S also about enjoying the process to have a negative impact on kids & # x27 ; ll.... Perfect and blemish-free as possible 13 and 6 ' 2 '', makes feel. Course.. I got a C in math actually spent time with me actually know about.... Better letting some of my family have expectations for every child and if not you! Between your parents didn & # x27 ; s also about enjoying the process my education, but hurt. The least resistance all through life life & crushed my self-esteem Picasso, Einstein, Mozart, free! Videos related to my parents care more about their child & # x27 ; t turn your children lifelong!, sad Alone forever which really ticks me ) my friends, people who LOVE & RESPECT each other on! To keep on learning and to continue with such behavior beauty is more! Tons of Ds and a few therapist and a psychologist by my own will...

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