Defensiveness refers to both a feeling and a behavior. Teams using DTs generally have two on the field at a time. protective, watchful synonyms for defensive Compare Synonyms opposing averting conservative foiling forestalling preservative preventive thwarting arresting balking checking coping with defending frustrating guarding in opposition interrupting protecting resistive safeguarding uptight Aiming to justify or excuse oneself or one's actions. Oklahoma State defensive coordinator Derek Mason will not return to the program in 2023 after a one-year stint with the Cowboys, he announced Thursday. (2020). In the moment, getting defensive can feel like the only way to cope with threat. Citizens are becoming defensive and distrustful of their civic leaders as they lose all trust in their ability to represent them honestly and with any sense of integrity.. offensive (ATTACKING) More examples. Your instinct tells you that your conversation has turned to where the person appears threatened for a reason, whether readily apparent or not. Defense industry, industry which manufactures and sells weapons and military technology. Why people become defensive and how to address it. 1. Copyright 2023 Vocabulary.com, Inc., a division of IXL Learning To get better at communication, try practicing first in low-stakes situations or imagining how you would like to communicate before a situation takes place. In the first stage of love, when we're infatuated by the freshness and excitement of new romance, we anticipate the best in our new partner. How Conflict Can Improve Your Relationship, Why You Need to Stop Avoiding Conflict (and What to Do Instead), How to Be More Self-Aware and Why Its Important, misrepresenting or forgetting what occurred, settlement of the conflict is more important than the disagreement. Plus, to break the silence, theyll usually start talking again, which buys you even more time. It can also be someone that is a regular victim of emotional abuse that is constantly criticized. | Showing empathy and concern toward someone who is responding in a defensive manner is better than being defensive yourself. If you feel yourself become defensive, try to see if you can simply acknowledge it and work through the conflict as honestly and generously as possible. You can make your feelings known without slinging accusations, which are a one-way ticket to escalating the conflict. Hear a word and type it out. 2009 - 2023 MindBodyGreen LLC. Thats why driver safety training is so important. Send us feedback. What should you do if despite your best behavior, the other person responds in a defensive manner? Yet withdrawal and disconnection are what continue to create trouble. The reasons for defensiveness are myriad and important to understand, but they don't take away the need to learn how to rewire ourselves away from the impulse to immediately self-protect. If you want to further reduce the risk of the other person being defensive, add something to the end of your request such as, It would be a great help to me, or I would really appreciate the help.. Reviewed by Devon Frye. 2 Types of Procrastination, Adrift in Love: The 3 L's of Failing Relationships. Subscribe Now: Apple Podcasts / Spotify / Google Podcasts. Someone on the defensive is concerned with justifying their actions or words. Of or relating to the effort to prevent an opponent from gaining points in a game or athletic contest. A defensive person can be someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. But if the feedback is meant to help you or is neutral and objectivelike scoring in the 37th percentilerather than channeling your energy into soothing yourself, youll fare better if you channel your energy into improving yourself. Of or relating to the effort to prevent an opponent from gaining points in a game or athletic contest. Rather than start off with a criticism, instead try to frame what you want in the form of a request. Webused to protect someone or something against attack: These are purely defensive weapons, not designed for attack. How many can you get right? Fourteen words that helped define the year. If you find yourself feeding off another persons anger and becoming even angrier as a response, maybe a third party can approach the issue. And once youve composed yourself, its time for the last step. Hussein AFF, et al. Defensiveness refers to both a feeling and a behavior. When a person is acting defensive, they're trying to protect or justify themselves. Take a step back, adopt a growth mindset and take critical feedback as a chance to get better and better. Instead of immediately reacting to your feelings of being hurt or feeling criticized, you could try taking responsibility for whatever part you might be responsible for in the situation. Someone has to worry about paying the bills, and someone has to have just enough, Youve heard it all before, so Im probably not telling you anything new. Verywell Mind articles are reviewed by board-certified physicians and mental healthcare professionals. Defensive behaviors have the purpose of distracting you from your feelings of being hurt and feeling shamed. However, when you experience a conflict with someone whos defensive, it can negatively impact the conversation and its outcome. Zanarini M, et al. However, make sure the "I" statement isnt a you" statement in sheeps clothing, like Im sorry you didnt understand, or I wish youd just grow up!. 3. The word in the example sentence does not match the entry word. So how does this apply to you? Defensive behavior is aggressive or submissive behavior in response to what a person perceives as a threat. Rather than approach situations in a combative stance, view yourself and the other person as taking an investigative approach. What do you call a defensive person? Compromise is often the best course of action when settling a conflict is more important than getting what you want. PostedMay 8, 2018 For example, if your neighbor is playing loud music, ask for the music to be turned down instead of offering judgment about what the neighbor is doing. 20 Common Defense Mechanisms and How They Work. Defense mechanisms associated with borderline personality disorder. Instead of avoiding confrontations with people exhibiting defensive behaviors, it may be best to understand why the other person reacts the way they do and how best to communicate with them. But the participants who had been primed to think intelligence was malleable coped by being curious about the strategies of those who performed better. Webdefensive 1 of 2 adjective as in protective intended to resist or prevent attack or aggression a defensive alliance among the small nations against the aggressors Synonyms & Similar Words Relevance protective self-protective preventive deterrent secure safe Antonyms & Near Antonyms offensive aggressive combative belligerent warlike militant Or we drink or otherwise self-medicate to cope with threats to our self-image and self-esteem. One of the most effective methods of communicating with a defensive person is using I statements. If you receive criticism that is cruel or insulting, no one expects you to grow from itgo ahead and use your time and energy repairing those wounds. Webused to protect someone or something against attack: These are purely defensive weapons, not designed for attack. Advertisement 2. All rights reserved. Working through conflicts explicitly and openly, activates the connection center of our brain, How do you sit calmly and quietly while your partner laments, The relationship begins to smolder with resentments. Lets take a look at some ways to prevent defensive behavior in those around you. If you are struggling with being defensive in your interactions with other people, its important to consider the emotions that are underlying your reactions. Being able to offer empathy and respect to those around you will also go a long way to avoiding the trap of reciprocal defensiveness. Perhaps you feel stuck and unable to change your defensive behavior, even though it makes you feel worse in the long run. WebDistrustful of others. For example, if you want your spouse to help around the house, you would not make the statement, You never do anything to clean up around here. Instead, you would make a specific request: Could you please help me by taking out the garbage on Tuesday? or Could you help me by vacuuming the carpets on Saturday?, In one case, it sounds like you just want to complain. So in times of defensivenesswhen your natural self-protection instincts set insee if you can tap into our naturally coexistent desire to connect. But we actually defend ourselves against holes in our self-esteem in lots of ways: we might trash-talk our haters, compare ourselves to people who have it worse, or go to great lengths to treat ourselves with retail therapy to soothe our wounded souls. How to use a word that (literally) drives some pe Editor Emily Brewster clarifies the difference. For example, is there a more significant issue youre not seeing? Your response to criticism (or how defensive you get) can depend on a few factors, namely temperament, history, and self-esteem. or "What would you prefer I do next time?". The researchers tracked white and African-American seventh graders who received critical feedback from their white teachers on a draft of an essay. b. Remember the enduring connection from that first stage of love, and try to access the feelings that first made you predisposed toward generosity and understanding at the outset of your relationship. sive di-fen (t)-siv d-fen (t)- 1 : serving or intended to defend or protect a defensive alliance 2 : resisting or preventing attack defensive behavior intended to resist or prevent attack or aggression, a position of readiness to oppose actual or expected attack, their unexpectedly harsh words put him on the, Post more words for defensive to Facebook, Share more words for defensive on Twitter, Great Big List of Beautiful and Useless Words, Vol. When your energy is competitive, your tone might be misconstrued as aggressive or uncooperative, which may cause a defensive persons guard to go up. Conflicting, positive or strongly held? Defense industry, industry which manufactures and sells weapons and military technology. After they read, they answered some questions that supposedly gauged their comprehension. While defensive behaviors might help you to feel better in the short term, in the long term they generally result in you feeling worse. Some people consider emotional intelligence (EQ) more important than IQ. WebNSC Defensive Driving Courses. You end up making other people feel bad without the intention to do so and this makes you feel even worse. Aiming to justify or excuse oneself or one's actions. Haganah (Hebrew for "The Defence"), a paramilitary organization in British Palestine. 2. Promoting well-being: The contribution of emotional intelligence. Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. Remember this when you're thinking of burying issues under the rug instead of dealing with them. Try to remain uncompetitive when approaching someone on the defense. distrustful. It might make us feel better in the moment to lead with our prickles, but in the end, well get a lot farther leading with our best selves. Research These methods might make us feel better, but they channel our energy into defensiveness rather than moving forward. When we lash out, we dig ourselves deeper. Is acting defensively lining up with how you want to be as a person? Do you stand with arms crossed, stand a little taller? And when we humans are faced with criticism, we also ready the drawbridge, project a ball of spines, or prepare for the tackle. Weve talked a lot about what to do if you are defensive and how to be less defensive. Year to date through Sept. 21, the closely watched CBOE Volatility Index is up 62.5%. Webadjective attempting to justify or defend in speech or writing synonyms: justificative, justificatory apologetic, excusatory offering or expressing apology adjective intended or appropriate for defending against or deterring aggression or attack defensive weapons a defensive stance Synonyms: antiaircraft This results in a vicious cycle of back-and-forth defensive behavior that neither of you saw coming (or probably even understand). These example sentences are selected automatically from various online news sources to reflect current usage of the word 'defensive.' Verywell Mind's content is for informational and educational purposes only. This could mean the difference for you in terms of improving your communication skills and managing your defensive reactions. We view their actions, intentions, and language through the lens of our positive vision. I apologize.. wary. Instead, focus on areas where you feel confident, whether its your commitment to living a healthy lifestyle, your religious faith, your readiness to help others, your passion for art, or any other value you hold dear. How Can I Improve Emotional Intelligence (EQ)? As youve learned, being defensive is a result of feeling ashamed, hurt, guilty, attacked, etc. However, it may be practical when: It may be best not to continuously use this response in disagreements with the same person, as it may lead to resentment and negatively impact the relationship long term. Makes you feel stuck and unable to change your defensive behavior in response what... Rug instead of dealing with them a result of feeling ashamed, hurt, guilty, attacked etc., stand a little taller sentences are selected automatically from various online news sources reflect. Gauged their comprehension Emily Brewster clarifies the difference for you in terms of improving your communication skills managing! 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You prefer I do next time? `` methods might make defensive tactics police feel better, but they our! Thinking of burying issues under the rug instead of dealing with them end up making other people bad... Of those who performed better to both a feeling and a behavior improving your communication and! Excuse oneself or one 's actions but the participants who had been primed to intelligence. 62.5 % ( Hebrew for `` the Defence '' ), a paramilitary in!

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